Ask our very own in house Aura Aunt any lifestyle questions, she is witty, she is wise and she will give you advise.
Aura Aunt, I've been rejected so many times in life, from jobs to relationships to even my parents. Some of my friends don't wish to be around me either leaving me isolated. How does one cope with rejection? (Anonymous, 29)
Hello Anonymous. One thing is for sure, you're not rejected here. Rejection is both a good and bad thing. But how we deal with it is up to us. In the past when men used to chat to women in clubs, they used to walk up to them, attempt a conversation, and if successful, they'd end up with their number to chat later on - if they remembered. But what of the ones that got rejected? They still carried on. If they got rejected by one girl, they'd attempt another. It's like having second and third options. I don't impose the idea of having options, but to have a mindset that there are resources and places that will accept you for who you are. Everyone has something positive to offer, from intelligence, quick thinking, mechanics, social skills the list is long. Instead of being upset about rejection, change the mindset to "this has made me stronger" and encourage yourself to be comfortable with the situation and accept it, there is something better out there, rather than trying too hard and being rejected. Take good care.
I've been dating a woman for over 3 years, she is beautiful, successful, rich and even drives a fast car. My male friends are envious of us. I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her but children wouldn't be possible. Here's the thing: I'm 28 and she's 53. I'm not earning as much as her and I live in a rundown flat. My female friends think I should find someone around my age and start over. But I'm in love with my girlfriend. Help? (Arnold, 28)
Hi Arnold, thanks for reaching out. Kudos to you. It is rare to find someone that you connect with so well and if the relationship feels right, then why not? Sometimes we find people of different ages that connect better to us.
If you have been together for this long, where have the doubts come from? Revisit at the beginning when you started doubting yourself about your relationship. Was it the jealousy of your male friends or the suggestions from your female friends? Also you raise the question of children, you need to ask yourself whether you wish to have kids in the future. Only you can make the decision and rather than overanalyzing the situation, follow your heart, and seek what you are searching for.
Hi, I have been hurt by those close to me. I have done so much for them, but they are so ungrateful for all and now they stopped talking to me. I feel so disappointed and my heart aches. (Anonymous, 45)
People will always speak to you when they want something from you. Once they have accomplished what they want they severe contact completely. It is not a good situation to be in. I empathize with you, perhaps you ought to start setting boundaries around you and let in those that mean a lot to you and let go of those that bring you down.
Surround yourself with others that uplift you and motivate you. It could be a blessing that these toxic people are no longer in your life. Find like-minded people and surround yourself with your tribe.
Quit being available and work on yourself, seek a few counselling sessions that will help you go past your emotions you are going through. There are life coaches out there who can help you as well. Its time to work on yourself. Let us know how you get on. Sending you lots of love and light.
Aura Aunt, I recently changed the habits of my showing with hot and cold water per your last month’s post and oh my goodness, the affect it has and how it works in 2 different ways is so amazing! I never used to shower in cold water but I'm slowly dropping the temperature every day and it's getting cooler in the morning and warmer in the evenings. You were right! It wakes you up in the morning and I've been much more alert with my job during the day and the evenings I sleep like a log! Highly recommend this to anyone reading this. (Jamie, 22)
That's so great to hear Jamie and thanks for getting in touch with us!
Greetings Aura Aunt! I really need some help! I was sadly one of the people who lost their job during the lockdown and have really been blessed to find somethings to do. Being surrounded by family has been amazing but I feel like I need some time to myself. Any tips on doing so? (Nash, 26)
Hello Nash! Thank you for getting in touch with us. Yes, family time is amazing and can be therapeutic especially in the tough times like we have had. But we must not forget to take the time out for ourselves. By taking time out it doesn't mean that we need to be watching TV or sitting alone in a room. It can mean clearing out your closet - it's much more relaxing when you throw away things that you don't need or revisit your closet for clothes you once wore. You can also check out some new hairstyles and see how they turn out and if they complement you or not - a new look is always fresh! Learning a new skill online is another way of spending time with yourself, but also encourages you to learn new things about the skill, and yourself too! Let us know how it goes!
Hi Aura Aunt, the weather has turned to a beautiful summer and so the bees have surfaced too. I'm scared of their sting. Any tips on how to treat a sting without medication? (Anonymous)
Hello and thanks for getting in touch! Yes! Strangely, table salt. Sprinkle table salt onto the sting and this should sooth it down well. Table salt also has some other great uses such as soothing muscle pain - to achieve this, dilute a teaspoon of salt in warm water and use this solution for soothing muscle aches. It can also soothe sore throats - dilute half a teaspoon in warm water and gargle at least twice a day for faster effect. The salt-water solution also works well for removing coffee stains!
Aunty Aura has a fun fact:
A hot water shower will reduce your tiredness and relax your muscles. It's the best way to wash away the long hard day at work and washed down the drain. Bonus: it also releases nasal congestion!
Cold water shower will boost your immunity the little bit more, Tightens the your skin, closes the pores and speeds up your metabolism!
What amazing benefits of having the 2 types of showers?! Aunty Aura tip: have a cold shower in the morning as it will also wake you up and a hot shower at night as it will gives you a good night’s sleep. Let us know how it goes.
Hi Aura Aunt, I have a friend who seems to be very selfish. She always has to put herself first with everything and doesn't take into consideration my feelings or anything anyone else would desire. Any tips on how to deal with this or snap her out of it? Thanks! (Lexi, 23)
Hey there Lexi. Thank you so much for your question.
This is interesting. Selfish and selfless people all have a motive. Selfless people will do things for others without thinking or will always put forth the needs for others before their own. But there comes a time when tables turn and they become selfish. Being selfish and putting yourself first is not a bad thing. We tend to forget what we want or desire.
There is always a fine line between the 2. We can't always expect someone else to know how we feel if we don't communicate it. Try and explain to your friend that by being so selfish, they have ignored to ask you what you would desire or wish for. This will get them to be a little more alert, not just with you, but their friends and family too.
Communication is always key to building bridges!
Hi Aunty Aura, I've recently launched my small business and I'm finding it difficult to promote it. My husband has been supportive, but I feel he does not understand how much it means to me and its upsetting me. Any tips? Thanks! (Mara, 29)
Hi Mara! Firstly, you have a beautiful name. Opening and launching a small business is such a beautiful step for anyone who is passionate about their talent, gifts, specialise in the area of expertise. Sometimes our very near and dear ones have their own fear that gets projected onto us. We need to understand and distinguish the fears that are our own and ones that aren't. This is not yours to keep.
My strongest suggestion is to have a chat with your husband and explain to him your passion for your business. If he still doesn't understand, push past his fear and focus on the wonderful opportunities you can achieve from recognition. Marketing is key. Networking is key. Get out there and know people. Speak, chat, learn, and grow your network. Build the space and get your word out! Word of mouth is the biggest hit for any business. Good luck and all the absolute best!
Hello Aunty Aura, I have an 8-year-old son who is glued to the iPad since birth and is now demanding a new one as this one broke. I am trying hard to get him off the gadgets but failing terribly. Any suggestions please? Thanks! (Mia, 32)
AA: Hi Mia, thanks so much for getting in touch with us! Unfortunately, we are living in a world where technology has taken up our lives. As much as we love our children, we do hate to see them cry resulting in pushing them towards technology and not giving them the human interaction and affection, they need. I would immensely suggest physical activities for children around that age that will invoke their intelligence and shape their intellectual persona even more. Some of these activities can include a treasure hunt initiated by you around the house, a hike, a walk in the park, a trip to the nearest hills, anything that will allow them to have fun as well as become aware of the world outside of technology. Another thing I would also advise is if you are using your gadgets less and less around your children and giving them your full attention, they need, they will return the favour immensely. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Aunty Aura, I usually don't ask for advise from anyone but I feel like I need to on this occasion: it may also help someone else reading this. I'm 22 and as the days are going by, I'm finding it difficult to save up some money. I have an amazing job that pays me well but it seems to go as quickly as it comes in. Any help? Thanks. (Kamran, 22)
Kamran, firstly, thanks so much for reaching out to seek help. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of your outgoings. Review what is essential on the list and what is secondary. A question I always ask myself is ‘Do I really need it or want it?’ Need is essential like breathing air. Want is secondary, you can do without it. Are you just buying things for the sake of it to fill a void, or do you really need it? The pandemic has brought an awareness to many that you no longer require all the material goods and purchasing minimal items. Hope you this is a starting point and helps you.
Dear Aunty Aura, this isn't a question but a helpful suggestion to anyone that may need it. We really get so lost in looking after materialistic things that we forget ourselves. I'd like to advise anyone who needs help in self-care: have a clear out! We really should de-clutter frequently enough and make space for the new. Learn a new skill: you really get to know yourself. Catch up with an old friend: there's nothing like bringing life to the good old memories again! Thanks Aunty Aura and continue your amazing work as always. (Ceasar, 30)
Ceasar! Thank you so much for a beautiful entry. Absolutely, by de-cluttering we also learn to detach from the things that no longer serve us purpose. Learning a new skill is beneficial for us to mentally challenge and grow into a better person. Not only does it help us know ourselves, but we have a better chance of meeting like-minded people too. Reaching out to friends especially in this pandemic is assurance of support and love from a distance. Bringing back some good old memories and giving a chance for some new ones to be made is great. We also learn more about these friends and how they can contribute to our own growth.
I seem to be having a lot of mood swings lately where I'm happy and the next minute I'm sad and low. What can I do to avoid this fluctuation of emotions? Thanks! (Jeremy, 25)
AA: Hi Jeremy, thanks for getting in touch. We are going through some tough times now with the pandemic and I'd like us to focus on something other than the virus. Yes, it’s here and we are working towards a cure, but we do need to keep the mind as positive and healthy as possible. A 30-minute walk highlights several benefits for you: boosts your immunity, allows the mind to be more creative, stimulates happy and positive thoughts because the body feels better and it will reflect on the mind and the face, toned legs and most importantly, better sleep. Sleeping well is one of the bigger factors of feeling good and positive about yourself and your surroundings too. If you can't get outdoors because of the weather, try yoga-like stretches at home. It doesn't have to be as long as 20 minutes but stretching out the body gets the blood flowing and proposes flexibility over time. Lets not forget, it highly stimulates good digestion! Hope it helps! You can also look at our “Have a Go” section that help with mindful techniques.
I've recently opened doors to spirituality and this may not be a topic of discussion or advise request but I'm in desperate needs for a grounding method. Is this something you can help with please? (Maya, 37)
AA: Hi Maya, thanks for making contact. It's lovely that you're beginning a beautiful journey of spirituality. My first advise would be not to resist the process and let it come to you, keeping a journal helps to track your progress. It’s an amazing awakening and have been through it. Spending time in nature helps with grounding, meditation, yoga. I was lucky enough to be guided by an amazing Tarot Reader, Kay whom I happened to be in Conversation With back in December. She has great knowledge on crystals that can help you to ground yourself, get in touch with her, you are likely to get some amazing advice!
Hi Aunty Aura, Lately, I've been feeling low when I wake up in the mornings and the news has been even more depressing since the coronavirus hit the scenes. Any suggestions to help snap out of this state of mind would be so great! Thanks in advance. (Samar, 22)
AA: Hi Samar, thank you so much for getting in touch, I cannot express how great it is for you to get in touch and reach out: not many people do this nor do they recognise that they need a change. It’s not an ideal situation to be in, we are all in this together and looks like we will soon get back to some normalcy. In the meantime, I suggest is you reduce your viewing time of the news, especially first thing in the morning. Have a morning routine start with mild breath work and a few yoga stretches. If not already doing it take up meditation or listen to calming music to uplift your mood. Endorphins, I call them the happy hormones, are released, and brings about positive mood. Additionally, journal some goals that you would like to achieve for the day and work towards achieving these goals. Hoe about taking up an online course that you have been meaning to take or take up a new hobby that make you happy. Good luck!
Could you please recommend something natural to boost the immune system against the Covid-19 virus? (Anita, 40)
AA: Try out the Immune Boost.
1 Apple (good for cold sores and detoxing the body)
1 Carrot (good for digestion and detoxing the body)
2 tbsp Lemon Juice (detoxing the body and has healing properties)
1 tbsp Honey (have antioxidant and antimicrobial)
¼ tsp of Turmeric (has tonic properties and is an antibiotic)
¼ inch of Ginger (is good to have during a cold, cough, and breathlessness)
Blend the ingredients to make the juice and drink it once a day. You can have it first thing in the morning.
I have asthma and at times and can get difficulty in breathing. I have an inhaler, but I do not want to heavily rely on it. Is there something you can suggest helping with the breathing? (Kyle, 25)
AA: In the current pandemic, respiratory conditions can bring about lots of doubt and concerns. But worry not, boil about 6 or 7 cloves (acts on sinus and bronchial congestion), steam your face with the concoction, this will open the air passage and help with the breathing. You can also add a few drops of olbus oil (can be bought at a pharmacy, generally used for children), this is exceptionally good for breathing. Recommendation is twice a day.
I started having acne from the age of 20 and at the age of 25, I still have it, I have been to the GP and tried various kinds of antibiotics, it clears for a month and then it is back to having a breakout. Do you have any advice on what I can try at home? (Radha, 25)
AA: Acne can be very painful, a home remedy that I used as a child and now as well is take some gram flour (chickpeas) add water to make a paste. Apply it to the face until it dries and then wash it. You can also add a bit of turmeric but be warned that your face will look yellow for a few days. Also, might I suggest you asking your GP to refer you to a gynecologists' to rule out PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), which is quite common in young women and one of the symptoms is acne. Good Luck!
I'm finding it difficult to sleep well at night and breathing can sometimes be an issue too. I generally keep fit wherever I can especially as it helps with the long and stressful days I have at work. Any suggestions on having an easy night's sleep? (Pete, 35)
AA: Sleep is always key for us to function well in our daily lives, on average one must sleep between 7 to 8 hours. Snake plants are a blissful addition to have in the bedroom as they are not only great for decoration, but also turn carbon dioxide into oxygen during the night which helps in breathing better. After a long stressful day make sure 1 hour before you sleep you switch off your electronic devices, if possible, read inspirational books. Currently I am reading Like A Virgin by Richard Branson before I go to bed, I wake up refreshed and ready for a new day.
My older brother has very low self-esteem. I've tried several times to take him out and socialise. He always tells me that he admires me for having confidence and wishes to have it too. Is there anything you can advise on? Thanks a bunch! (Jenna, 28)
AA: thank you so much for getting in touch with this topic and I'm glad you did. Boys and men usually find it difficult to come out and speak about their emotions as they are always made to feel responsible for their siblings and to man up. In the long run, it can do some severe damage on their mental health. Here are some tips: a) Self-care arrange a Pamper day for him, some examples is treat him to his favourite game, match, a massage or even a golf game (if its his thing). It will make him happy and get him to smile more! b) Surround him with positivity. When we identify the negatives from the positives, we learn what is good for us and what makes us happy. It could be doing something like donating to a charity, a walk in the park, paying for someone's lunch or even something as small as a hug from the most loved one. Hugs are great medicine too! Don't be afraid to be weird. Relating this to mental health awareness, suppressed feelings have us behave in a way that is always staged. We should often express ourselves freely. Take good care of your brother.
I have been having a lot of heartburn and in most cases I end up vomiting. I have tried every medication, is there a natural remedy that I can try?
AA: Heartburn aka acid reflux can be very uncomfortable; a favourite remedy of mine is milk in soda water. In a glass fill a ¼ with cold milk and ¾ of soda water. The alkaline drink works wonders on the acid. Avoid spicy food, tea and fruit juices that are highly acidic. Also sleeping on your left side helps the digestive system to avoid vomiting.
As a commuter on the underground, I tend to have more spots on my face than usual. I don't have any conditions as such. What’s the best way to keep my skin fresh? (Krisztina, 32)
AA: Smooth skin is every woman's dream and desire. Washing and rinsing your face with cold water before going to bed and after a hot shower helps the pores to close which stops the unnecessary dirt and pollution from entering the skin. You can also opt for some face masks which suit your skin type, but cold water generally works well. Drinking water (approx. 6-8 glasses a day) also helps to clear the body from toxins.
How can one maintain a balanced food option, especially with the ongoing pandemic this year? (Amrita, 26)
AA: The pandemic has freed up a lot of time for us to do things we wouldn't normally do. Cooking homemade meals and concentrating on our physical well-being has really been magnified this year for many. Fruit and veg from the local shops are always available and has been even more vital for our immune system. Using fresh ingredients for flavours not just nourishes the taste buds but also nourishes the mind and body. Each vegetable has their own benefits and ayurvedic advantages to the body.
My stress levels are usually high with trying to balance work and family life. In the process, my hair tends to shed quicker and also go frail. Any tips for this? (Alisha, 35)
AA: I find that Argon Oil based shampoos work great hair. Also, a Chinese tip: rice water. When you cook rice the next time, rinse the rice in water and store that water. The next day, wash your hair with shampoo first and rinse, then use the rice water as you would with the shampoo. Massage your scalp and let the rice water sit in your hair for a couple of minutes longer than you would. Rinse and watch the difference. The starch from the rice water strengthens and thickens the hair and prevents it from shedding quickly.