During a numerology or manifestation session, clients bring up the lack of connection with their other half. “He is emotionally unavailable at all times.”, “She doesn’t care about me anymore.”, “I always ask him where our relationship is headed, I feel so unloved.” The secret to lasting love is to know your and your partner’s Love Language! Dr. Gary Chapman talks about them in his book ‘The 5 Love Languages. The Secret to Love That Lasts.’ Towards the end of the book there is an assessment of 30 statements for Him and Her that tally up and give you your prime Love Language. What are these Love Languages?
5 Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation: from time to time we love it when our spouse or partner pays us a compliment. My husband always says to me “You look beautiful”, I never show emotion, but it makes me happy when he says that. This love language is prime for those who while growing up were always criticized for just breathing, you know “You are so stupid,” or “You are not smart enough to go to University” or “Stop smiling, you look silly.”
Act of Service: Friday is waste collection day, so Thursday nights my husband puts the bins out, and I put away the empty bins after collection on Friday mornings. We appreciate the acts of services we carry out for each other. A central love language for those who have been in a family environment where the Dad always went to work and it was the Mum’s duty to cook, clean, fold the laundry among other tasks.
Receiving Gifts: I for one have never been a big fan of giving or receiving gifts, because I have always gone out and bought what I wanted. My husband turns 40 next month and I asked him what he would like for his birthday, all I got was “Nothing”. See I turned 40 last year and we treated ourselves to a luxury car, so I guess in a way we both already received our gift. This is a fundamental love language for those having touchable symbols of love is significant to them than others.
Quality Time: Hubby and I recently discovered our common love for Disney Pixar animations, once a week we will spend quality time watching an animation film or select a board game to play. I find this is one inexpensive way to give each other your time. This is a principal love language for couples who spend a lot of time away from each other and brilliant way to rekindle their love.
Physical Touch: male clients always say, “definitely my love language!”, but wait it’s not all about sex, no sir! Well sex is one fragment of the physical touch, but there are other ways, like a foot rub, a shoulder massage. I am obsessed with ears and caressing the lobes or flicking them. This is a crucial love language to communicate with your other half at an emotional love level.
As Chapman puts it fill your “Love Tank” to have a Love that Lasts. The quiz can be found here - www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes.
P.S: You could have more than one love language, but there is always a dominant one.