Arty and I go a long way, I have known her for donkey years and let’s just say I treat her as I would my kid sister, I took her under my wing. Been there for her in her highs and lows, when she was being rebellious and shut me out of her life for a brief period, and that time she needed to crash at my place for a short period of time.
We recently connected again and had a chat about work, life, and relationships. She recently met someone and has been all loved up. There is a different sort of spark that I have never seen in her ever before. Unlike her past relationships where she always looked drained out, angry, and always in a mood, a feeling of being a victim.
“Kiran, I must admit that I learnt a lot from all my past relationships. With Jake, I learnt about myself and the person I want to be. With Dan, I learnt how a lady should be treated and chivalry and then there was Rob, who taught me a very big lesson, not to ignore any red flags.”
I always thought that Rob was the ‘ONE’, but the revelations Arty made were shocking and it was as though I was watching a drama series on Netflix.
Arty’s Story
“After Julia’s wedding reception, Rob and I hooked up, it was only meant to be a one-night stand. But before we hooked up, I did ask him whether he had a girlfriend, and he said that he had split up with his girlfriend a while back and was now single. After the wedding, we kept in touch via WhatsApp chats, messaging each other every day. I got to see him occasionally when he could make time from his busy work schedule.
We went on a group holiday to Spain, with his work friends, and Karri, my sister since she is married to one of his colleagues, my brother-in-law, that’s how we met. Our chemistry sizzled and when his colleagues asked about our relationship, he made it official that we are dating. Like every new relationship, I was ecstatic about it, I started looking after myself and he would surprise me with flowers, but we would meet up once a month. Each time we arranged to meet up or go out to friend’s parties, he would end up making an excuse and not turn up. This left me angry and upset, I was always out of sync, and I felt my energy always drained out, but I carried on being in a relationship with him.
Then out of the blue Karri received a message from Rob’s ex-girlfriend, Michelle, she mentioned to Karri that she has a feeling that Rob is cheating on her. And Karri replied by saying that she thought they had ended their relationship recently. Michelle confirmed that they are still together and have been together for the past 5 years and that Rob has been living with her ever since.
Karri, spoke to me and asked me “How much do you trust Rob?”, and I told her I do trust him, and then she showed me the messages between her and Michelle. I felt like the earth move from under my feet when I read the messages. I felt so angry and betrayed, trust went out of the window, but there was also a sense of peace and calm. All I could think of was how to get my revenge and how to hurt him the way he hurt me and Michelle.
We concocted a plan to confront him while Michelle and I were together at the same time. On the day I was supposed to meet Michelle, she refused to reply to my messages and answer my calls. Disappointed I stopped pestering her and carried on with a brave face, without anyone knowing the internal turmoil that was going on.
After a couple of weeks Michelle called me and asked to meet up and she had had enough and wanted to confront Rob. I drove to her place in London, while she got in the car, she was on the phone to someone and I could only hear her side of the conversation, “there is another girl”, and in response I replied, “yes that’s me.” Michelle turned to look at me and said to me “there is another girl!”, and my response was “ME!”. And she stopped talking to the caller and turns to me saying, “there is me, you, and another girl. And we are headed to her place now, so drive.” I thought to myself, what is going on, instead of feeling low, I had an adrenaline rush to get to the bottom of this.
We got to the third girl’s place, it was so awkward, Michelle was on the phone, I had a cautious look and Claire, I later found out her name was in a state of shock. She revealed that Rob and she were in a relationship for over 2 years. After a couple of hours, I drove Michelle home and she invited me to her place. As she entered the flat, she saw Rob’s work shoes and motioned to me that he is at home.
She showed me into the living room and called out to Rob to come see her, he walked into the living room butt naked and when he saw me, he was shocked and taken by surprise. He ran back to his room and wore his clothes on and returned to the living room. He blamed his behavior on Mental Health, all I said to him was that he was a sex addict and that he needed help. I then walked out of the flat and never looked back.
I became friends with Claire, I guess we went through the same ordeal and worked through this. The red flags were all there, seeing each other once a month, he would make last moment cancellations to meet up or go out.”
End
It was very brave of Arty to reveal and share such a personal experience she had in the name of a relationship. As I see her today, she has taken time out to work on herself and recently met someone whom I am yet to meet to give her the stamp of approval. I am honored to be a part of her life and she values my opinion.
Sex addicts and addiction is not a disease, however, many become victims at the hands of an addict and they in turn loose trust and faith in ever getting into a relationship or to even fall in love. My humble request is to seek help and there are good rehabilitation centers that help with the addiction problems.
Narrated by Kiran Kaur, the Inspire Tale of an Arty
November 2021
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